stupid people wear glasses to look like smart people that don't wear glasses

The kids had their first ophthalmologist appointment yesterday. An ophthalmologist is an eye doctor who went to medical school. We were concerned one of them might have inherited lazy eye from their dad.

I had lazy eye at about three years old. The eye was operated on but it’s still so lazy they might have to cut it out and replace it with a web camera. That’s fine, I suppose, since I could go around filming things undercover.

Some disgruntled employee named Bob would pee in the coffee pot and he’d be all “no one will believe I did this” and I’d be all leaning in with my left eye webcam recording everything until pee gets on the lens and it has to be replaced but insurance won’t pay for it and I die blind. The End.

Well, Stella and Xavier are fine. Neither has lazy eye. Xavier does have a stigmata or whatever which means his cornea or retina is broken. I blame his brain. He never sits still…probably bumped it on something.