Putting things in the closet

Our house is in the middle of some minor upgrades. We’re having a pantry closet constructed on one side of the kitchen and a coat closet and small built in desk on the other side. For some reason, when this house was rehabbed by an investor many years ago they thought people preferred one very, very small closet and a bunch of underutilized wall space. I think it was because they were morons like in Utah.

The extra closet space really is long overdue. I hate clutter. I hate it so much it’s a hate crime. I like counters that are completely empty; no toasters, no coffee makers, no knife racks or napkin holders, no tampons, etc. All that stuff should be put away in a drawer, pantry or separate built-in slot or walk-in pantry.

I don’t like backpacks lying around, coats slung over chairs, shoes piled up in a corner or guys with red hair. There is a place for these things and it’s called the closet where Tom Cruise lives.

Don’t even get me started about microwaves installed above the oven. Forget it, I already got started.

Yes, it was so cool back in the 1980’s when crack was popular but now it just looks stupid. The microwave should only go in one of two places… 1) Inside a pantry or 2) a built-in slot perhaps in the island, above an oven or in conjunction with the cabinets.

That might sound neurotic but it’s not. It’s a fact of life so shut your face.

I understand these are a lot of rules to follow when doing your own home improvement projects but if you follow my one simple rule, “make your house look like no one lives there” you too can have a wonderful place to call home.

…stayed tuned for, “why I hate bathtubs.”

I love icecream.


I don't know. He's pissed off at something.


Everyone including my stylist says I'm looking a little thin. I can't help it, the kids eat all the food.


Aunt Duda gave the kids these shirts. Stella is very good at standing still. Not really. She likes to tell me about how the teacher at school tells her during nap time, "no run, I run, teacher, no run, shhhh , no talk, sleep, no run". That's about what it sounds like coming out of her mouth. Stella likes to wave her index finger whenever she says "no" during the re-telling of "naptime at nursery school" story.


Baby Fifi is the cutest ever!!


This closet is going to be so beautuful. I'm going to kiss this picture right now.