OMG, Here are a bunch of updates and Tom Cruise is not Gay all the time let's just say he experiments

Like everyone else in this country, we are going through a heat wave and drought. Thank “whatever doesn’t offend you” we don’t have a water meter. Older houses in Chicago don’t have meter’s so you pay an average fixed rate based on the number of bathroom’s and bedrooms. It comes out to a little under $100 a month for us. Therefore, I’m draining Lake Michigan to keep our yard alive. If someone was drowning, I would throw water on them because I’m not paying for it.

 Soon I'll add a path and lighting so yeh, it will

me more awesome than the pushup bra. 

Last Saturday, while Anna was billing the crap out of her private patients, I decided to weed the front lawn and let the kids drive me crazy all at the same time. I gave each one of them a rake or broom to keep busy while I pulled weeds.  About every five minutes, someone wanted to trade a rake for a broom and a fight would break out.

I survived. What doesn’t kill you makes you want to kill yourself.

After the weeding, I packed them into the car and headed for Home Depot to buy 30 bags of mulch. The kids were in the back seat and the entire cargo area, plus the passenger front seat was filled with mulch bags. The kids complained and complained about it being 100 degrees (Fahrenheit) while they waited in the backyard for me to unload 30 bags of mulch.  I bet kids from the Sahara Dessert don’t complain about the heat when they’re dying. American children,  sooooooooo lazy.

 

That evening, Stella wanted to go on a walk using the map she drew. We got lost.

That circle around the rectangle thing in the picture is the door to our house. I told her to use Google maps next time. It’s free and the U.S. military uses the GPS system to kill babies in other countries to defend our freedom

We headed to the beach for forth of July. As we were walking down the sidewalk only about hundred feet from the beach we could hear this guy behind us yelling. Eventually, he was right up behind us on his bike yelling, “Stupid crackers, I hate you white people, fucking honkies, I fucking hate you people!” I was shocked. I always check the “other” box.

The interaction took no more than ten second but it really threw me. The guy was like 25 years old, maybe drugged and absolutely pissed and looking for a fight. I snapped this picture as he was going past and called the police to go violate him.

Anna complained and complained that she wanted a new car then the AC in her car died. She is using this as a reason to buy another car. Then she complained and complained about how much she hates our washing machine. Well, the washing machine's “full” sensor malfunctioned on Tuesday and water poured from the laundry room upstairs into the hallway and through the ceiling in the dining room below.

Anna has wanted a new washer forever so we got the mother of all washing machines.

The only real damage caused from the water are the hardwood floors and the carbon monoxide/ smoke detector system is malfunctioning. I met with the insurance company agent today and cried a little and told her I was an orphan and that this was the only house I've every lived in.. I bet they give us tons of money now. I also told her she was so thin even though she needed to lose a few. This trick always gets you free stuff from fat girls. Put it on your list men. Put it on your list.

 

 

Last but not the end of the world, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are getting divorced. Anna and Katie were high school friends and lab partner. I’m posting this to look important People who know celebrities are better than normal people. All of Anna’s high school friends are gossiping like school girls all over Facebook about this. Maybe she can hide out at our house.

I'll never talk badly about someone's personal religious beliefs such as Scientology. But, it does seem like a really stupid religion and everyone who practices it is a stupid moron loser idiot renob.