Some people that we paid are remodeling our bathroom

We started remodeling the upstairs bathroom. When the previous owner's rehabbed the bathroom, someone said ,"Try to make the wrong decisions for everything and then let's see what happens"

Well, this is what happened.

This is what the bathroom looks like from the outside.There are two closets in our upstairs hallway, which is completely unnecessary. So why didn't the previous owners make this small bathroom bigger? Because they made the wrong decision and then suffered for 30 years in this third world toilet.

When I think of the homeless street kids in India I'm grateful that they never had to have a bathroom like this. I bet that one who won the game show never had to live like this.

Every surface of this miserable insult to interior design is covered in gray, polished ceramic tile. When I mentioned to our real estate agent that we'd be gutting this bathroom first, she sincerely thought we should keep the tile on the ceiling because it would prevent water damage and keep the bathroom warmer in the winter. I'm like, "What the fuck is wrong with you! I'm not tiling a ceiling."

From that point on, I ignored any remodeling advice that came out of her mouth. One time a Joly Rancher fell out her mouth.

Everything in the bathroom is too big. I forgot to take a picture of the tub and I don't want to get out of my chair right now, but it is surrounded by a gigantic knee high wall of tile that takes up too much floor space. You can see the towels hanging over it on the right. A true insult to walls.

Oh the sink. I love the 80s like everyone does (we were the best generation truly. God bless us) but the interior design ideas back then should have been abortioned before the first trimester. The only thing missing from this picture is a porcelain cheetah statue.  Of course, the sink sits on a gigantic Formica counter top with a wall-to-wall mirror above it.

How did so many decades have really cool design concepts only to go to hell in a cocaine bag in the 80s? You can't even blame Nixon because he wasn't even the president then, someone else probably was.

It sickens me to think about all the people that died for this bathroom.

This toilet would be funny if it didn't suck so bad. I've never seen anything like it. There's this rectangular mouth of a lid that curves at the end. Some men have penises like this.

We haven't even had people over yet because we don't want them to see this bathroom. I keep telling our friends the house is broken.

Everyday I pray that starving children everywhere can find one meal and/or a Power Bar and that our bathroom will be finished in a few week. No honest person should have to live with a bathroom like this.