28 is the new 31

There are so many things that don't need to be said. 

Over the weekend, I was at the playground judging other parents when I  realized that all the dad's wearing baggy shorts looked ridiculous and they seriously needed some gay in them to pick out better outfits. 

Soooooooo, I really needed a new pair of shorts. While passing a Gap store on my way to a fallafel I decided to stop in and see what they had. There was only one pair of shorts left and it was not my size but I tried them on anyway.

Low and behold , either because of vanity sizes or all the head-stand leg lifts I do every the morning, I now wear a 28" waist in Gap clothing. I have always had a waist of 30.5" since hair started growing on the field but now.... WTF. I HAVE ARRIVED.

I'm like the size 00 of women.  I'm so lucky it's like I won a $1 million dollar lottery and bought another 1 million lottery tickets and I won all those lotteries! 

Now, after all these years,  I know what it feels like to be an 18 year old up-and-coming model that get's flown to Paris for lavish sex parties with rich old men on Viagra. I wonder what type of music they listen to at these parties? I bet Neil Diamond. 

...and some thoughts I had after finding the shorts.......

Sometimes we don't choose our path, sometimes the path chooses us and sometimes there isn't a path so we make a path and sometimes we make a path that no one else likes so when we get to where we are going, no one else is there and then we die alone.