43 is the new 12

Something really funny to write on a card if an old person dies would be

"Unlike your grandfather, we will never forget all the things he has done".

Ok, I had to get that off my chest.

I celebrated my 43rd birthday last week.

Since I am thin and exercise everyday i am pretty well maintained.

I like to think of myself a very well maintained. Or even,. very very very well-maintained.

The nanny had to take a morning off on my birthday because she was menstruating, and the girls were home from school for Easter.break. Therefore, I stayed home with them even though the thought of spending 4 hours with kids disgusts me. 

While I was watching them, Anna texted me the recipe for my birthday cake since she didn't have time to bake it. 

It was a long boring recipe but the girls helped out and we baked the cake.

That evening, when we all were home, Anna started cutting the cake and was all like, 

"Why are there coffee grounds in this cake?!?!"

I'm like, "Because the recipe said add '1 cup of coffee'. 

Anna is like, "BREWED Coffee! NOT Coffee grounds!!".

People, how the hell am I supposed to know that? The line in the recipe immediately before the line about coffee said, "2 cups of flour". It did NOT say "2 cups of DRY flour".

People who write recipes are so stupid.

Anyhooooooooooooooooooooo, we did not have cake even though it looked fine to me.

In my defense, the recipe was not well written.

The twins turned 8 over the weekend. They each got a store bought cake.

We had Xavier's class over for a reptile party. This is a snake 

that eats children.

I blacked out the eye of his friends because I did want

to violate their privacy law,

This is a turtle. I learned that turtles eat meat

I really don't like any of the new Spider-man movies.

Stella had a girls SPA party. Even though we learned that the Asian women aren't even paid minimum wage and basically work like slaves, we made an exception because she was turning 8.